It’s hard to believe it’s already been a year since we packed up our life in the US and started over in England. While I had lived in the UK before, moving back was a very different experience, with plenty of adjustments, unexpected challenges and new experiences along the way. Now that we’ve had a full year to settle in, I wanted to reflect on what the experience has really been like, what I’ve missed about America, what I’ve come to love about England, and how we’ve started to build a new life here.

The Reality of Starting Over

Although Mark’s work covered the financial cost of moving all of our belongings, there was still a lot to do on our end. I spent a considerable amount of time getting rid of things that wouldn’t fit into a UK home and deciding what to store at my dad’s house rather than risk shipping it. We spent a long time preparing for the move on the US side, and then it took a while to get settled on this side.

I also mentally dragged my feet a little on the move. We pushed back our moving date so I could make sure I was able to move Markell into college and celebrate his nineteenth birthday. Of all the parts of this move that have been hardest, being away from him has been the toughest. Even if I were still in the US, being away from him would be difficult, and it’s been something I’ve struggled with while here.

We had temporary accommodation for two weeks while we got our house set up with the basics, and our personal belongings arrived later. All in all, it took about six weeks to two months before the house really felt like home. This was also after a slight meltdown when I discovered that sofas in the UK can take around 10 weeks to deliver (crazy by US standards!). We eventually chose one that could be delivered within a week instead.

We thought moving in November would mean we wouldn’t have FOMO about spending the summer dealing with all the moving admin, but it came with its own challenges. Everyone was already gearing up for Christmas, and it was a particularly busy time of year.

Overall, we’re really happy with the house we chose to rent. It’s a fifteen-minute walk into town, a five-minute walk to the train station, and we have several coffee shops, two grocery stores and a brewery all within a ten-minute walk. It’s also just the right size for us right now (although if we bought, we’d buy something bigger!).

Building a new social circle was another part of starting over. I feel really grateful and fortunate that I’ve been able to strengthen relationships with English friends I already knew through Mark, as well as connect with other British people who had also done work postings in the US. We’ve also made friends with some of our neighbors, which has helped us feel more at home.

It took me about ten months to feel more settled here, which coincided with getting a UK job and passing my driving test. I’m not sure I’ll ever feel completely settled, though. With my family and Markell still in the US, along with a house I still own there, I continue to have relationships and responsibilities on both sides of the Atlantic. There’s also the possibility that we may move back in the coming years, so perhaps a part of me will always feel a little in between.

Some of the adjustments have been bigger than others. We’ve established new routines, like using a Nespresso instead of a Keurig, and got used to everyday things taking a little longer. Laundry is a good example: our washing machine is slower, we don’t have a dryer, and the dishwasher is smaller. But many of the basics of daily life remain the same. I still like to get up, have my coffee, read or watch TV, and fit in a workout. My bedtime hasn’t changed either.

Everyday Differences

Healthcare and dental care are two areas where I’ve noticed some significant differences. The NHS is great in that healthcare is free at the point of use, but in the US you generally have more autonomy over your healthcare choices, including which providers you see and what services you can access without needing a primary doctor’s referral or approval.

I also got really upset with myself when I had a bit of a faff with my dentist here. Apparently, the appointment where the dentist examines your teeth and the actual cleaning are two separate appointments. In the US, these are generally done together. I turned up expecting both, only to have the dentist tell me my teeth were fine. I was then confused about why the cleaning wasn’t included! I did eventually get it sorted, and now I know for next time.

It’s also harder to do a big grocery shop without a car, so we rely on grocery deliveries. I’ve also got used to portion sizes in England being smaller and generally just enough for that meal, rather than having leftovers to take home. I actually think that’s a good thing in some ways, as you’re less tempted to eat too much.

One thing I absolutely love, though, is being able to walk to do so many of my errands and everyday tasks. I can walk to the library, post office, dentist, doctor, grocery store and coffee shops. I’ve also enjoyed plenty of walks to grab a coffee or meet friends for dinner. I do miss driving at times, but there’s something really nice about being able to get around on foot.

Adapting to the trash and recycling schedule was another adjustment. Unlike back in the US, where pickups were weekly everywhere I’ve lived, services here rotate on a biweekly basis. There are also restrictions on the overall volume of trash and recycling you can put out. I suppose this makes you more conscious of your waste, but it was a pain when we were first moving and had a bunch of boxes and other things to get rid of!

We also experienced a shift in UK rental regulations roughly halfway through our lease. Our tenancy transitioned to an open-ended arrangement, requiring only two months’ notice from us if we want to move, although the landlord can also give us notice if they want us to leave. It’s a setup that offers renters more flexibility, which is great for us.

There are also things I genuinely miss about America. I really miss US sports. Even though some games are available to watch here, the time difference makes it difficult. I also miss being able to casually talk about college football or basketball and have people know exactly what I’m talking about! Thanksgiving is another big one, along with the traditions my family has for other holidays.

The weather has been an adjustment, too. Winters here are milder in temperature, which makes it easier overall to be outside, but there is about an hour to an hour and a half more darkness compared with where we lived in the US, and so many more overcast days than sunny ones throughout the year. I still prefer American summers, which are longer and hotter, with water activities being a big part of life: swimming, going to the beach, floating down a river, etc.

One thing that surprised me, compared with my time living in England ten years ago, is how many people listen to country music here now!

I’ve also come to appreciate some of the differences in lifestyle and attitudes. People here seem less fussed about keeping up with the Joneses and are much more likely to ask about your next vacation. I quite like that.

Finding Your Place and Building a New Life

I’ve made a real effort to explore our new surroundings, finding favorite places, restaurants, walks and destinations. It’s been one of the more enjoyable parts of starting over, and I look forward to doing a lot more of it.

One thing I absolutely love about England is the network of public rights of way for walking and hiking. In the US, you generally can’t walk across private land, so most trails are on public property. Here, there are footpaths crossing farmland, fields and countryside, often taking you through some beautiful places you might otherwise never discover.

Building friendships and a social circle as an adult is a challenge, and I think it’s sometimes harder when you don’t have children at home bringing you into contact with other families. I feel grateful that we’ve managed to establish a social circle here, and we’re always open to making new friends.

Gloucestershire and the Cotswolds have also become an important part of my new sense of home. I loved living in London for a year in my twenties, but now that I’m in my thirties, I really enjoy being in Cheltenham and having the countryside right on my doorstep. It’s a different pace of life, and one I’ve come to appreciate.

I’m also incredibly grateful to have had an excellent driving instructor who taught me how to properly navigate the roads here. Learning to drive on the left, dealing with narrow country lanes and getting comfortable with roundabouts was a learning curve, to say the least!

I’ve also embraced more of the traditional British experiences: attending a cricket tournament, going to a rugby game, eating beans on toast (not my favorite, but not as bad as it sounds), enjoying plenty of Sunday roasts and fish and chips, and spending time in pubs. And, of course, one of the biggest advantages of living here is how much easier it is to travel around the UK and Europe. Having so many different destinations within relatively easy reach is something I don’t take for granted.

What I Miss About America Versus What I Love About England

There are things I miss about America that I don’t think I’ll ever stop missing: family and friends, familiar conveniences, American food, the space in houses, cars and land, the national parks, and the openness, friendliness and directness of Americans.

But there are equally things I love about England: walkable towns, history, beautiful landscapes, easy access to Europe and public transport. I love being able to explore a new place without necessarily needing a car, and the sense of history that’s woven into everyday life here.

I don’t think one country is necessarily better than the other. They offer different things, and living here has made me appreciate both.

One Year Later

Looking back, some things have been harder than I anticipated. Changing jobs and adjusting to how much lower salaries can be in the UK, the long backlog for booking a UK driving test, and, most importantly, being away from Markell. That last one is still really hard for me, and I don’t think it ever gets easy.

Other things have been easier than expected, particularly making friends, finding my way around and settling into life in Cheltenham rather than London.

I’ve also learned a few things about myself along the way. I need downtime more than I sometimes realize, and being resilient and adaptable can feel harder as you get older. There were times when I genuinely questioned whether I had it in me to start over again.

But a year later, I’m glad we did it. I don’t have everything figured out, and I’m not sure I’ll ever feel completely settled in one place, but we’ve built a life here that I enjoy.

And perhaps that’s what starting over is really about: not recreating the life you left behind, but finding new things to appreciate, building new routines and gradually making somewhere unfamiliar feel like home.